It’s mental health awareness week this week and this years’ theme is loneliness. I have reflected on loneliness a lot recently. In a world of sharing everything on social media I think loneliness is fairly taboo in today’s society - who feels OK to admit they're feeling lonely?

People often associate loneliness with something that affects older people but in reality loneliness affects most people at some point, and sometimes often.

Many people publish images on social media surrounded by friends, having a fantastic time, drinks in hand, amazing backdrops and beaming smiles. Consider though, that those people who post the photos may present a veneer of happiness which may not have solid foundations.

The definition of loneliness is: an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation.

I can relate to this - I love going for walks and I used to feel acutely self conscious if I went out for a walk by myself. Surely others would think I had no friends because I had to walk by myself. This perceived isolation made me feel lonely. I started listening to music or a podcast and realised many other people would go for walks by themselves - I didn’t assume they had no friends. It helped me overcome my self perception. 

Loneliness isn’t a mental health condition, but can affect your mental health and lead to mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety and lack of sleep.

Social phobia/social anxiety affects people who find it difficult to engage in everyday activities involving other people. This can lead to a lack of meaningful social contact and cause feelings of loneliness.

One thing I've learned is the difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely - and how I can feel lonely in a crowd full of people, but quite peaceful and content when alone.

If you feel lonely and worry about putting yourself in social situations, just take it slow. Be kind to yourself - things don’t have to change overnight. 

Try a little something different – a small comment to a neighbour, a smile to a stranger in the cafe can lead to surprising conversation and connections. If you keep an open mind and think positively you’re more likely to get positive outcomes.

We’re here at the same point in time, but we all got here very differently and have unique models of the world – we deal with things in different ways and there is no one right answer.

Well meaning friends and family may offer suggestions and solutions, which may seem perfectly achievable to them. It may not feel so easy for you – it’s OK to find your own way that works for you.

Guess what grows more – happiness or worry? The blue elephant or the red elephant? 

Whatever you focus on will be the thing that grows. Change your focus by reading about what you want, thinking about what you want, paint paintings depicting what you want – slowly retrain your mind to focus on what you want and it will feel easier to do it.

Visualise how great you feel when you do something that goes well!

It’s normal to feel lonely sometimes. If you’re affected by loneliness, perhaps you’d like to talk?