We carry around our life experiences, upbringing, happy times and sad times, trauma, loss and love and as the years go by some situations we have never thought of before suddenly become ‘a thing’, or as coaches call it, a limiting belief which literally limits us from doing what we want and achieving our dreams. 

It’s not just the past which comes along to create these knots on our timeline, but also age, living in a pandemic, situations which happen now which can all have a dramatic effect on how we think and feel. And if you allow these effects to take hold they can really hold you back in life. 

Someone could have a fall and start feeling nervous about going out. Maybe going out less and less and end up feeling trapped indoors. Or have experienced a bad break-up in the past which now makes them feel scared to have a new relationship because they don’t want to get hurt again. Perhaps you applied for a new job and didn’t get it which left you feeling rejected and to protect your feelings you decide to stay in a job you don’t enjoy. 

Luckily it’s never too late to have a happy childhood, it’s never too late to overcome fears, it’s never too late to start again. It just takes work and your desire to change. Desire to change because if you don’t really want it then it’s unlikely you will achieve it - pursuing your own goals as opposed to what other people desire for you enables you to get fully behind it, you’ll feel passionate about the journey to achieve it and you will work at it, a little bit, every day.

Undoing The Thing takes work. Because creating The Thing also took work, even if you hadn’t realised it. The many times you have thought that I can’t have another happy happy relationship or if I leave the house I will fall - all those times you have worked on building up The Thing, the limiting belief. So logically it will take some work to create new and more helpful thoughts and behaviours to make those old and unhelpful thoughts a Nothing.

Question: You have two emotions, Happy and Sad. Which of those emotions are stronger and bigger? 

Answer: The one you feed the most. 

So if you put all your energy into thinking ‘I can’t’ then that’s most likely what you will end up believing. Instead, could it be possible to think ‘I can’? Where might this lead to? 

100% of my clients come to me with some sort of limiting belief, something that’s become A Thing, a problem. Some people arrive with a clear insight into the cause, others don’t. 

Identifying what is causing The Thing is important because we can then start to talk about the behaviours and thoughts that the person do every day. That’s the work they have been doing to create the limiting belief which is now standing in their way. 

When we understand the work that’s been created to feed the limiting belief we work together to create more useful and supportive thoughts and behaviours which help towards achieving new relationships, going for that new job, leaving the house to pop to the shops and all the other things people really want to do but, for whatever reason, don’t do. 

The process of getting through the stages of creating A Thing into Nothing is unique for each person, but essentially it takes people through the belief that ‘I can’t’ to ‘I will’ and eventually to ‘I Do’. The journey can be tough, fun, insightful, life changing.

We all know the saying ‘I have to see it to believe it’. When it comes to changing our thinking and mindset and how this is linked to achieving our desired outcomes it’s the other way around.

You’ve got to believe it, to see it. 

Because our mindset impacts our behaviours I recommend Carol Dwecks’ Mindset to many clients. It’s pretty easy to read and digest. I remember reading this and realising that I had a tendency to be very fixed in my mindset in certain situations which was linked to a limiting belief which over time had become A Thing for me. The book helped me loosen that belief and I started working on different ways to think which opened up more options for me and I could more easily see that there could be a positive outcome when I tried. 

There are loads of related posts on my blog which might be useful in your journey. Working with a coach is an excellent way to progress through the stages of obliterating limiting beliefs.

Don’t hesitate to contact me for an initial, no obligation chat.