Have you stopped to think if you get what you truly want out of life? The majority of people spend most of their lives in the Grey Zone - their life isn’t awful but it’s also not amazing. We only get one shot at life so why not make is amazing? 

If you can recognise the Grey Zone and realise what you’re capable of achieving you can start to actions to move out of the Grey Zone and enter the Absolutely Brilliant Zone! Read on to understand more…

Surprisingly few of us spend much time thinking about what we want in life. One day takes the next, a year moves into the next and suddenly we realise that the fixed-term mortgage we took out 5 years ago is coming up for renewal.

Life might be bopping along quite nicely and that might be exactly what you want - a comfortable life in the Grey Zone. The place where change is scary and status quo is nice and safe. And the thought of change can be scary.

The question is, do you avoid change because you’re happy with how things are, or because you’re scared?

Put aside for the moment that we’re talking about changing your life and focus on this: You are the only person in charge of your thoughts and decisions. External impressions help to shape our thoughts but no one but you can think your thoughts for you. Understand that you have choices in your life. 

Fear may come knocking at this point trying to convince you to stay in the Grey Zone where it’s nice and comfy. That’s your brain’s survival instincts kicking in as it reacts to the unknown. Because the main purpose of our brain is to keep us safe. So when you start thinking about change, you might feel nervous or scared - your brain will detect these emotions and try and convince you not to do it. Most of the time it’s great to have this sense-check as it stops us from doing truly dangerous things like jumping off a cliff. But when we want to change our lives we need to be able to understand that the fear is trying to protect us from something which may not actually be dangerous, it’s simply, as yet, unknown. 

Consider your thoughts your instruction manual - like the posters at the dentist saying you are what you eat - you also are what you think you are. Or what you allow yourself to think you are.

Start small - it takes about 3 weeks to instill new habits and it’s important not to expect to deal with all this at once. If you have a habit of thinking negative thoughts, start by being more aware of what you think every day.

Is this what you want to believe? If it isn’t then create the helpful, positive thoughts you want to believe. It can be useful to write these up on some posters and dot them around your monitor/bathroom mirror/office wall. Day by day, build up a library of positive thoughts which you want to think.

Once you start thinking more positive thoughts you can work on your goals - what is it that you REALLY want in life? Make sure the statement is a positive statement and add as much detail as you can - some people enjoy making a visual representation of the day they achieve the goals and describe what the weather is like and what they’re wearing. 

As an example, if you want to apply for a new job your goal could be ‘I will work in an office based in London Docklands for a financial services company earning £25,000 per year. My desk will have views over the O2 and I will be part of a large team. I will achieve this within 10 months and on my first day I will wear my blue shirt and my favourite black shoes'.

When we work on goals it’s important that they’re realistic and ecological; be prepared to work every day to achieve them, even a small thing will get you one step closer to your dream. 

Ask yourself if your goals are realistic - do you have the skills required or do you need to complete some studies first? All this needs to be part of your path to reach your goal. 

Ecology is an interesting angle. When we consider this it’s about making sure the goals are ‘good’ and have no negative consequences for you, for your partner and family, are they good for the community and the wider world.

Once you have a very clear understanding of your goals and what you need to do to achieve them you will absolutely LOVE your goals and you will most likely get the tingle effect, that is a sense of excitement and maybe even goose bumps when you think about your goal - and you may be surprised how easy it will be to achieve it.

And that might be OK for you. Do what you’ve always done and have what you’ve always had. Or change, starting today. 

If you want help identifying your goals or battling your inner critic, get in touch.